The Reason Why I Lied

Looking for a job is not easy. Unless, you happened to be extremely intelligent, have more achievement that one can count with his or her fingers, have an unbelievable long list of contacts, graduated from a top university and/or heartbreakingly attractive.

If you have all of the above, you have the privileged to turn down job offers, because you probably want to travel the world first.

If you have most of the above listed good lucks, you are probably already working in the company of your dreams.

But most of us are not as lucky as you are. Oh yeah, by the way congratulations for those who are.

Today I applied to a company for the tenth time. And I got rejected even before anybody could have a look at my CV. I know, that there are many applicants out there, but as the name would suggest "Human resource", you may be familiar with the risk of this, as there are billion of humans out there (unless its called "alien resource" then you probably wont have to bother with so many humans's CV).

What made me sad/pissed/hopeless is the fact that there was a list of top universities in my country that you can choose from. And if you happened to not be a graduate from one of the universities listed, there is an "Other local university" option you can click. I graduated from what you guys call "other local university" and as you may guess, they asked it twice. Like to assure themselves that you are not applicable because you didn't graduated from a top university.

Well, this may be irrelevant to why my application got rejected directly after applying. Maybe because I wasn't desirable, but I have a hunch that I got rejected because I didn't graduate from a top uni.

It makes sense you know, because the questions that they were asking were pretty standard and through the times I have applied, I change the answers (ex 1st time applying: are u related to a government official? No. 2nd time: Yes, my father etc.) and the only thing I didnt change was where I graduated from. So I have a reason to suspect.

I wanted to lie so bad, to lie that I am an alumni from a top university. And one day when they asked me why I lied, I would say: the same reason why you discriminate. You wanted the best, I wanted a chance. You wanted someone intelligent, I wanted to show you that I am. You wanted someone with lots of powerful alumni contacts, I wanted to tell you that I have enough to satisfy you. You wanted to be impressed, I wanted to impress you.

I know a living proof of someone you went in a top university because of pure luck, I knew someone who bribed, I even knew someone who didnt write their own thesis and graduated probably because it was attractive. I knew some people who are stupid and lazy, enjoying the privilege of the good name of an university. It is just a name for Gods sake, it doesnt have any connection of who you are as a person. And I know, its a stepping stone, you must have some brain if you can go into a top uni and blah blah, but everybody has their reasons. I didnt even try to apply to a top uni, why? because the test was at the same time with my IGCSE and because I was thousand miles away (literally separated by the ocean). My cousin got a scholarship from Harvard and she declined it because of whatever reason and I still respect her.

And then you might say, those who are lazy and stupid wont pass the interview process. Yeah probably, and you just wasted your time talking to a idiot instead of giving a talented person from a B-List university a chance.

I wanted to lie so bad... so bad that I almost did it. Then I said to myself: why on earth would I apply to a company that discriminates people. Why on earth would I wanna be a part of a company who doesnt give people a chance? Why on earth would I be proud to be a part of a close minded greedy company? Why on earth would I wanna join a company that wont even see my potential?

And therefore I didn't.


I wish you all the luck in the world though, for there must be one or two nice people who are sadly trapped inside, enjoying your extravagant monetary incentive.


Sigh,

Arinda

What I Have Learned in the Past Four Years

Wow, its been years since the last time I wrote! And you thought that this blog is dead. Well, you are not very wrong. The blog is dead, was, because today I am reclaiming this space and I am going to write again (fingers crossed). Before I begin to write what I have learned in the past years of absence, I would like to enlighten the sudden motivation to write again: I am jobless and highly restless to a point where I am desperately thinking that maybe, just maybe, writing things down will help me calm my soul.

I am a fresh graduate (like literally), only a couple of days old baby who is ready to jump into the real world. I am 21 years old and I studied Communications in an university that you probably wont know. The focus of my study is very broad, seriously. We covered public relations, broadcast, journalism, advertising, crisis management, event management and everything else in the field of communications. And I am currently waiting for a confirmation for a job that I have (accidentally) applied to.

After my graduation, and the fuss that comes with it (like what to wear, the hair, make up and shoes problems) I had some time to actually reflect upon myself what it is that I want. Sorry, I still dont know what I want, but while thinking of what I want, I figured out, maybe I should take things slowly and think about what I have learnED in the past years.

1. Friends you find in uni are friends for life

The truth to that quote has to be proven yet (since we just graduated). But it is a good feeling to graduate knowing that you are loved and cherished by your friends. You dont have to have a huge number of friends, a couple of people that you feel comfortable with is totally fine, as long as you know that you can count on them no matter what. Friends for me are like my security blanket, they keep me warm and safe in this big bad world. I am lucky enough to have graduated with the people I love, sometimes I feel like they are not my friends, they are family. So keep your friends close to your heart and I bet nothing will change in the next 10 years.

2. Your friends are not perfect and so are you

Remember, that no one is perfect. I know how tempting it is to follow the manual book of friendship. Like be there 24/7, dont date your friends ex, dont talk behind their back etc. But manuals will only work perfectly for machines and we are not machines. Your friends cannot be 24/7 by your side, they have a life too. People fall in love. Bad things sometimes slip out of our mouth. Just because you commit a bad thing doesnt mean you are a bad friend, as long as you try your best to help your friend, try to be more sensitive towards your friends feeling and apologise, if you happened to say something bad. Of course, you have to be tolerant and forgiving too. Sometimes people do things for a reason and if you know a friendship is good, you have to fight for it.

3. Stop thinking that it is the end of the world

People who read my blog or know me, are probably familiar with my bad habit: complaining. I know that it is human nature but I swear, I am so ashamed by my frequent complaining. I tried to stop but it was so hard, it was like drugs, you get addicted to complaining. I remember that I always had something to complain about, my body, my face, my IQ etc. Until one day, I watched a documentary about a beautiful mermaid girl, and she literally changed me. Her attitude towards life inspired me and her joy in life was so contagious that I cant help but feel ridiculous about myself. I am still trying to complain less and try to enjoy life. I also learn to stop seeing problem much bigger than they actually are. So every time I want to complain, I just remember that I have to be grateful. Every time I have a problem, I try to evaluate the damage and calculate probable solutions before freaking out.

4. Meet new people, make mistakes, learn a lesson or two

I have to admit that I am not all pure, clean and stuff. I have made mistakes that hurt many people, including myself. I said sorry, a thousand times, but pain does not heal instantly. I didnt want those mistake to be in vain and therefore I tried to make it a lesson: I should stop living in my dreams and realised that there are EVIL people out there as there are GOOD people. I should be more careful in judging characters and stop being so naive. What I am saying is, that it is okay to meet people, some of them might turned out to be your friend, some will just damage your life and of course it is okay to make mistakes, as long as you realised that it is a mistake and apologise. And at the end, learned from it. Learn from other people. Learn from your mistakes.

5. Always give your best in everything you do

Oh trust me, I have read that so many times and am still stubborn. Until I realised (too late) that there are so many things I regret not doing or giving my best. I didnt seize opportunities to be a better person. I didnt study harder. I didnt join any sports club. I wasnt more active in campus. I gave up even before I tried. I just didnt give my best in anything I did in the last four years. And honestly, remorse is an annoying feeling that I wish you will never have to feel.

6. Give your family a chance

Now that puberty is over, and the rebellious hormone is subdued, it is time to give my family a chance. I moved out from the house when I went to uni and had years of solitude. Now that uni is over, I am spending more time with my mom, trying to connect with my dad and hang out with my brother. And I am happy to say that I love them. I feel blessed for having such a fun and loving family.

7. Love life is just a small part of your life

Love is important, and we dont wanna feel lonely. But do not let your love problems affect your study and friendship. I have dated (or known) crazy guys; violent guys, jerks and other species. They have brought misery and lessons for me. I dont want to be committed in a relationship just because I am lonely. Love will come and I am not in a hurry. (Intermezzo: DO NOT DATE A GUY YOU MET AT A CLUB)

8. Experiments are okay, but know your limit

Like normal people, I have experimented too. My young soul back then wanted to try everything, and yes I did almost tried everything. I am lucky that I wasnt too carried away by my experiments but I have witness some people loosing themselves in their little experiment. It is not because I wasnt easily influenced and others was, it was because I had great friends who would remind me if I went a bit too far. My tip is, before you experiment, you should set a limit of how far you wanna go and then stop once you almost reach that limit. Or dont even start something you know you wont be able to stop (read: dont do drugs). Whatever it is that you wanna try, just keep in mind that you always have to be careful and take care of yourself.


That was a broad and summarised version of the lessons that I have learned in the past four years. I hope that I entertained you or inspired you a little bit. There are many more lessons to come, of course, as we dont stop learning as we grow. But not today, people, I am off to nap wonderland.




Jobless love and kisses!!

Maybe.. (the most saddest excuse for a tittle)

Oh god i know no one reads my blog any more.

hey, maybe thats a great reason to write again.

3 posts ago, i think, the last post i wrote when i was in Cairo, i was reading through it quickly and wow, you wont believe what i felt, i felt like i was living in a dream. Nothing seems real anymore. Im not sure whether this is the dream or the cairo part is the dream, either way when the future comes and you flash back to the old days of your fucking boring past, you wonder, how the hell did i manage to get through that crazy asssucking days??? I thought i was gonna be dead by the end of the year.

Life is so random man, i swear to you. Maybe what i had is some kind of an enlightenment from the Lord whos trying to tell me the reason why we exist. Well, i dont have the answer yet, but trust me, that is the the first thing im gonna ask Him when i arrive at the heavens gate (when i arrive, but im sure ill go to Jahanam first, sad if you know it before you should know it)

Anyway, i was kinda innocent huh, saying "i was born decent" and bla bla bla, saying i wasnt mentally and physically ready. People dont have to be ready to make a funny step out of their dull life. You can have the life you want to live too, when youre courageous enough to face the sad truth that theres always gonna be Emma Watson whos gonna be above you in freaking everything.

Its starting to get harmful nowadays, ironic when i remember how i assured people that i only attract nice, nerdy and innocent human being. Ironic when i remember i dont like to wear dresses and frigging slut heels.

Ironic how i like my life now.

I could tell you everything. Every funny little scenes that happened to me, but trust me, you dont wanna know. Cause maybe you might be too close minded to understand, or in worst case you gonna tell everyone and i will be sent back to the last place i wanna be, Alaska, reading the Quran alone inside an ice cold igloo with no poster of nude Johny Depp.

are you confused and irritated?

Me too

Ironic kisses and hugs,

Arinda

random birth in 1993

Well i owe some explanations of what happened this past weeks. Maybe in the next post, im not into talking about my stupid being.

Im 17. I keep repeating that stuff when i forget why the hell i should make a driver license. And why am i getting my own bank account. Also the legal age in Europe and America to be able to move out from parents four wall and cohabit with either opposite-sex partner or same-sex partner (a totally made up law, if im right then wow). They also made a movie about a 40-years-old-virgin (tittle: 40 years old virgin), poor ugly old man, lucky im a fresh 17 years old girl.

Anyway, im 17 and i have the right to love. 

Okay, i totally hate bullshits about couples who find themselves totally eternal, but i never said that this love i have would be everlasting. im just saying its very sweet. and i love to love this fucking pervert (private joke, i dont expect u to understand, dumbasses :p)

i decide to separate this ugly post with the one i wanted you to read,

Arinda

Another random night

since no one read my blog, at least not those persons that i wish would care about my writings, i decided to tell something in this very boring night, where i should be.... yeah... learning... ah shit dont remind me of that ARGH!

Im in a stage of life that Freud might call the Genital Stage where my biggest pleasure should be gain by having heterosexual relationships...okay.... anyway, simple people just called that shit of psychodynamic approach as PUBERTY, so do I. 

So what happens in this stage: Conflicts. Yeah . Thats what most of the pubertans would like and love and seek and want and wish to experience. Dont tell me "we never like problems" you know that what makes your life life are problems that are actually eating your mental right?? RIGHT? 

Im just a 17 years old bitch who happens to be very bored and has nothing to do than talking about people, spreading gossips and watching porn (that last point was just a corny joke to enhance your mood). But i really do like to observe, yeah, somehow i care about my environment and thus, im kinda specialized in the subject of: how teenagers deal with life.

This is the result i had observe:

1. Teenagers LOVE to seek problems....

    What? Why? How come? Easy, just admit it to yourself. You could GOSH HAVE A NICE SIMPLE LIFE AND SAFELY GOING TO THIS BULLSHIT STAGE, but most of you (declude me, because im kinda passive toward the word: life) love to make everything so much complicated that its already is. You dont believe me? Of course not! Since when it is easy to admit that most of your problem is your own wish which will make your life plot seems so fake. You know it better than me teenage pals, you could have it so much simpler....

2. Teenagers LOVE to exaggerate problems.....

    HAH?? NO WAY! YES WAY JERKS. Thats what youre talented to do. Teenagers are like parasites. They exaggerate. If theres a problem (that they were wishing to have) they abruptly do it worst! By well, exaggerating. 

Example.... I have a friend who has a friend (im talking about my friend but i like to make it complicated [im still a teenager] so you wont know im talking about my friend), the friend told my friend a story, he absolutely told his friend very wise advices for his friend problems. Then my friend, he came to me all spoiled about his decisions consequences and will not hear that there are like zillions of people that have it worst than him, he wants to be the one whos suffering, he voluntarily create this fucking state of mind, HES EXAGGERATING! The point is, a teenager knows their friends is exaggerating, but they do not know: That they do it themselves. 

 .... okay2 im a teenager too, i admit, i do that stuff too....

3. Teenagers LOVE to show their problems

    Dont believe me? Check your twitter. 

4. Teenagers LOVE to fall in LOVE

    Tell me how many times did you say: I love you. How many nights did thought: He surely is the one. How many dirty thoughts you had about him??

5. Teenagers LOVE to fall out LOVE

    How many gallons of tears did you shed when you recognize he doesnt love you? Hmm, the real question is: how many lover did you have? how many of them did you actually love? how many of them did you lie to? How many of them lalalalala ask whatever you want, sky is your limit. But the point is: you LOVE to seek for other lovers, you actually adores you, worships you, feeds you,.... You fall in love to fall out of it, you fall out to just fall in love again.

6. Teenagers LOVE to think their current life is the ultimate life

     Meaning? Im not sure myself. Its just i know that teenagers love to think that their having the best years of their pathetic life, dont they? 

7. Teenagers LOVE to act mature

     OMG THIS IS SO TRUE! Like a friend of mine who got her first BF with 10, first a lil touch on her boobs with 11 and ultimate adult make out with 12. She thought, with 12 you should be very mature. I was 11 back then, and i was casted out for being very immature and childish. 

Well, this result might be bias and might contain personal interpretation therefore unreliable, but still you know that this point meets some people.

8. Teenagers LOVE to be unique

9. Teenagers LOVE to be einmalig

10. Teenagers LOVE to be special

6-8 is totally proven by Justin Bieber. Wait, how old is he? 7? Well hes not in puberty yet. Well then take Miley Cyrus as an example or the Jonas Siblings.

Actually this post is trash. I just wanted to share with you how much i need a guys attention! that i feel so unloved, unlovable, ignored, forgotten, lonely etc 

well yeah i still have a guy

but im still in puberty right? I can hallucinate problems, i have the right to claim whatever teenager right i might have. Because im 17.

Life is a long journey, puberty is just so short stop,

Arinda

Another Thoughts

It wasnt a great day today nor was it worth mention. Only the desperate part of my exam when i actually tried to one way communicate with the mysterious examiner. Hmm i actually blamed him, i hope hes not upset.

Anyway, this is for most of my school mates their last exam (unfortunately not for me) and i kind of find myself in a sudden sad mood. 

Yes i do prefer to spend my time with people who actually loves me and do not ignore me etc, but all this treatment i had to face in the last months, i kinda get used to it. All im trying to say is, yes i will miss it. 

Once some random guy said to me that "eventhough you hate Egypt, you will miss it someday, you'll gonna find a reason to miss it," I answered him withouth hesitation, "maybe, but likely NO, i wont miss it, I'm happy to leave this place, why the hell should i miss this place?" He just look straight the road (he was driving me home obviously he was paid to do so) "you'll find a reason," 

I knew back then that he was right but i tried to deny all that fact because i just hate to see myself making the same mistake all over again. I hate to miss something i hate. A mistake i will never learn.

I'm a bad person. I do sins like constantly and I'm not planning to stop. I'm a bad person, i hurt most of the people i know and sometimes even those who never knew and will never know me. I'm a bad person. For hating something just because it seems so hateable. 

I'm a bad person who cling to the past, who cries for the past, regret the past and miss the past. Even if i meet another bad person who ruins my life, i always find a reason to miss them. To actually craved after them.

Sometimes i even miss strangers. 

Today, some of my friends remind me that this is the last time ill see them. Even i forget it myself (due to stress, lost sense of time and mostly unreasonable hunger). It surprised me that they remembered it. The thing is, they looked happy. I didnt expect them to look sad or pretend to be, at least i didnt expect them to be that 'hilarious'. And i find myself, overwhelm. With weird feelings i thought i wont feel but i knew that i will do. Those feelings are mix of, curiosity, pity, hunger and even sadness. Yes i felt sad. I know that i will miss them somehow. Ill find a reason to actually craved for them, to actually be the one who'll send them an email. Ill gonna find myself a reason to cry. And I'm gonna miss them, miss Egypt.

The guy was right. I hate goodbyes. Even to the most hateful person in this world, i find a way to be sad. I hate goodbyes. And i think even the most hateful person in this world, do not deserve farewells of any kind. 

The road back home was almost empty. It gave me time to watch the yellow hill scenario that blend together with the city, it gave me stolen time to think.

Maybe, i dont hate Egypt at all. Maybe, i just hate myself. For not being a better person, for not opening myself, for not take the chance of friendship and change, for being so stubborn, for stopping myself being happy, for missing all those opportunities that might change my whole life for better or worst and for not being myself all this time.

Yes, I am gonna say it out loud, yes I'm gonna miss Egypt. I'm gonna miss all those things i didn't do. All those 'no's i said and regret to say. I'm gonna miss Egypt and might cry for it. 

For im a bad person who loves to fall in love with something that cannot ever love me back. 

For im a bad person who appreciates memories too much.

For im a bad person who will love the invention of the time machine only to watch my past all over again. 

This is a confession that i dont hate you, not even a bit, hating you is just some lame excuse to escape the sad truth.

See you later Egypt, 

Arinda

excuse: didnt have time to learn :(

Kupandang fajar nan jauh disana

darimana kuberada iya tak tampak

Tertutup kain hati merana

sekujur tubuhku memberontak

Heran kupandangi hari

berlari lari tak karuan 

dingin dan sepi

kuterhanyut dalam haluan

Nyanyian manis waktu 

ajariku sejuta hal baru

dan sekarang kubersabda

takkan menyesali hari hari kita

Kupandang kembali 

kebelakang pilar pilar mati

masihkah ia dapat bernapas

walau hanya sejenak saja

ia terbang halus bagaikan kapas

Akhir perjalanan

akhir pengorbanan

akhir tangan kita bergandengan

sudah waktunya melepaskan

tak lama pulau baru menanti 

adakah cinta lama ini mati?

sudah hal tua, semua bagai putaran

roda hukum sang pencipta alam

dan sekali lagi

Kupandang fajar nan jauh disana

darimana kuberada iya tak tampak

Tertutup kain hati merana

sekujur tubuhku memberontak

adakah waktu mengajariku lagi?

Arinda wijaya

kalo ada yang baca ini, demi Allah gue tau kok jelek, tiga menit dan non bakat=disaster

very random

since no one ever read my blog (ex: my bf dont care about reading and i doubt he can read at all and anyway he can memorize my blog name) i can write whatever i want hihihi (scary laugh) 

so why shouldnt i write all the common thoughts i had and never wanted to share???

Well, gue nga pernah bilang ya gue bakat di apa2, which is true and i blame God and my parents for that. anyways, people told me i used to write things and they like it and they cry reading it. Hmm i dont remember, all i remember was a scene in my boring life 8 years ago where i throw up a book (apparently full of writings) in the full-of-unhuman-things-cellar. and i remember to pray the rats would get it.

So what did i throw back then? was it the only thing i could do?

Seems like i lose everything with it

Seems like a curse, the curse of the hurt writing book.

I really really have to stop talking about myself and start to make people happy like i used to do, well i used to fake.

I wonder how to unfollow blogs,

arinda

Tentang

gue tau nyeng gue nga bakat2 apa
gue tau nyeng gue nga bisa apa2
gue nga guna
apapun yang gue kerjain salah
karya gue hina apa aja
buruk

kalo gue bunuh diri, gue pengen semuanya merasa bersalah

semuanya



wowawo once again suicidal,
arinda

Kayanya

Gue nga bisa mikirin masa depan gue

kalo gue heading kesana, yang gue liat gelap

apa bener gue siap nge kos sendiri 

apa bener gue siap nguci bh gue sendiri

dan beresin tempat tidur

ini nih anak manja

tapi mau gue visualisasikan sekenceng mungkin, nga bisa

apa gue bakal mati ya sebelum ini semua terjadi?

kalau iya, let me go to heaven Lord,

arinda

How To How To Questions

I ask myself:

HOW TO GET FAMOUS?

Answers:

- you got to be a really cool socialize person 

- you got to have a qualified sense of fashion

- you got to be good in singing

- you got to have a very weird talent like singing fart

- you got to have a hot socialize boyfriend, cousin or grandma

- you got to be really clever

- you got to get a scholarship in any of the ivy league colleges

- you got to be a genius

- you got to make a very creative art thing

- you got to be a sexy talented dancer 

- you got to have muscles

- you got to write a book

- you got to have rich parents to finance you

- you got to be born in a famous family

or

- you got to be really really autistically stupid and dump humiliating yourself

and non of above is what i am right now. I dont have sense for fashion and i dont care about it, im not born rich, my voice is like cursed the day i was born, im way way way far from clever let alone genius, and i just wikipeding "ivy league" and found myself crying cause its like the eighth world wonder if i got to one of the colleges, im trying to write a book but found myself with poor vocab and chaotic grammar and im not that dump humiliating myself.

So

HOW TO GET FAMOUS WITHOUT HAVING ANY TALENT?

answer:

- online suicide

- online killing (although you need a specific psychological talent for it)

- selling drugs in clubs

- sell yourself for a cheap price

- go on tell everyone you had a crazy threesome last night

- burn a house

- burn a building

- be the first zombie

- be an ultimate freak

- eat a lot and be the worlds fattest girl

- don't eat and be the worlds skinniest girl

- tell bad stories about your friend

- wear no bra

- wear only bra

- tell stories about yourself like youre pregnant when youre not

- bring a gun/weapon/knife to your school and scream you are going to kill the canteen women

or

- make a blog claiming youre very talented and cool while youre doing the opposite

i hate my boring life, 

arinda

Human Porcelain

Nanti kalo jerawat gue udah ilang, gue bisa numpang make up orang, gue mau ah iseng poto kaya gini

How does it feels like living without zits?

arinda

Obrol harapan

Dialogue dua orang

Nadia : Nda, kan ntar keren tuh Nda di padang pasir gitu, lo bikin poto2 

Arinda : Iya Nad, gue pengen cari temen yang suka foto juga, hahaha gue yang di poto tapi

Nadia : Ya nga papa ndaaaa kereeen

Contoh

harapan dan kenyataan beda Nad

gue capek selftimer mulu lari2 kaya orang bego 

Kertas Doa

Dulu, dipertengahan semester satu dan dua, gue, Nini sama Lutpan pernah bikin Kertas Doa.

Isi kertas gue doa gue

Gue mau punya pacar yang:

nga pelit, nga jayus, spontanious, penuh kejutan, nga boring, PAKE SKINNY JEANS, ganteng, dll

Kertas Doa Nini:

Gue mau punya pacar yang:

berotot, pakai jaket kulit dll

gue lupa kertas doanya Lutpan isinya apa

lalu kertas doanya kita sobek2 sambil berharap banget, trus kita buang.

Liatlah apa jadinya doa kita...

Nini pacarnya kayanya nga selalu memakai jaket kulit yang ketat untuk memamerkan ototnya sesuai permintaan Nini di kertas doanya

Gue pacar gue, ya mendekati kertas doa gue, cuman gue nga mendekati kertas doanya sama sekali

Taun ini gimana ya...

kalo gue kertas doakan keinginan gue, bisa nga ya

Kertas Doa

sekolah lulus dengan benar

Dapet kuliah yang terbaik buat gue

Pulang ke Jakarta

Prom dengan dress yang udah ada dikepala gue

Bikin buku tahunan manual gue

ketemu sama adonis gue

naik tinggi badan

naik cup bra

betis kecilan

itu kayanya goal deh bukan kertas doa

good bye old 2009, kamu adalah tahun terberantakan teredukatif yang pernah aku alami,

arinda

Things that has something to do with hormones

1. Im done with boring guys, guys with no sense of nasty humor (my jokes are sometimes to dirty for those softies)
2. I hate and im done dealing with pelit guys (im very very sick of it)
3. I do a lot of skypes
4. the skypee and moi the skyper, we usually do stupid unhuman not-boring things
5. i want to learn how to calculate in inch
6. i want to spend 2 weeks with HIV infected children in Ethiopia
7. most people would be shock if they know me for real
8. they would probably call a cheap exorcism for moi only (those closeminders)
9. i like to talk with 'moi'
10. somethings come just a little too late

point 1, 2, 4, 7, 8 refers to you my personal fb whos now official

im on diet now

gue lupa rasanya idup enak dari segenap jiwa

Big Laughter

homuris yeee jgn di ambil ati

Boo

Sepertinya gue harus berhenti membuat hidup gue berkesan melodramatis dan melankolis, nampaknya sudah saatnya gue menampakkan jejak ke ceria dunia dan meninggalkan sisi emo gue yang true to say makin merajala.

WOHOO IM HAPPY. EVEN IF IM LYING NOW. IM FREAKINGLY HAPPY

Ah i just remember, i have an exam........

random confessions

1. I dont like boys, theyre scary. Thats why i only go out with people i think i know well
2. I cry all the time i remember i wont have prom and a yearbook
3. Im a whimp now
4. The only thing that cheers me up is watching true blood, and im sad bcause i didnt buy the third and following seasons
5. I want to go home home