The Week

7th June 2010

This is the day all the struggling for that stupid psycho and sociology would be shown. Either by a good chance of not getting an U or a bad chance of getting an U. The day started like any other insomniac day i had in this last weeks. I slept very late, woke very early. and the fact that i found out that im not in the criteria of gifted children, might suffer from mania and dyslexia did not made my day brighter. 

I slept in the car like always and woke up in surprise when my dream were becoming more bizarre: my hair turned into mayonnaise with green things. I woke up saying "i want to puke" yeah and thats were it all started: the acid in my stomach plays crazy.

In the sociology exam were i just happened to open the book 2 and half hours ago, i found myself writing the centre number all wrong: EG099, where 099 suppose to be my old centre number in Indonesia (ID099). I didnt change it cause i couldnt find whats wrong with that until late in the evening.

2 hours before the psycho exam i had the chance to start reading about education. Fyi, in AL you shouldve at least do the syllabus in one year. i couldnt do it in 2 hours, OF COURSE NOT! 

But i couldnt rest my mind by thinking i totally deserted the education part, so at least i read some shit about it and revise schizophrenia and abnormal affect. And found out once again that im a good candidate for schizophrenia. Nice life. and the acid in my stomach couldnt stay in its place, i almost vomit but didn't because i just couldnt stand to explain people what was the matter with me.

Anyway, the shit part of somatoform disorder (the easiest therefore i skipped it) came and i couldnt answer so stupidly i did the diagnosing mental disorder which i totally hate and prayed that it wont come. Then i answer stuff about anxiety disorder because everything else that i learned never came. IRONIC. 

8th June

In the morning i got shouted by that random old bitchwitch.

"Are you arinda?"

"yes"

"Of course you are Arinda! Are you aware what youve done?"

"hmm no"

"Whats your ID number?" 

"1345"

"ah 1345 but yesterday it wasnt 1345"

"hah? yes it was"

"no! you write a totally different number,"

"how come? I dont remember"

"Thats what i wanna ask you! i almost wrote you absent! if my partner hadnt read your name! you wouldnt be able to get your grades,"

"Wow, i just remember writing the centre number wrong"

"just your centre number?!"

"yeah"

"You like to make up things, huh?!"

Miss this is an exam which i willingly risk years in prison if commit arson would actually stop it. I dont joke for an exam that had almost drain my brain and replace my kidney. I just dont joke. 

another reason why im sure i have dyscalculia or dyslexia. And i might suffer from hyperactive stomach acid.

9th June

very random, i forget about that day except i spent most of the day in front of simek and fell asleep whenever i feel my stomach is kicking me to hell.

10th June

Ah its yesterday! I had my farewell with Miss Samah my favorite german teacher whom i think loves me too and Miss Amal my principle who told me i was her favorite student. But of course they love me! Im a foreigner dammit not an Egyptian. The stomach acid thing got worst.

In the night i went randomly out with Auli, Yudi and Ka Aiman (the one that you can click in my 'escapes' links). I almost forget that boys are humans to except for their little birdie part that makes them a monster. kidding. I mean i spent 10 months believing that you can get pregnant by just looking at your opposite sex. So a random night out with 3 guys is kinda weird. 

The moral of that day was that i was not born to fit the high standard of any 'famous' society. I was born very decent and i will stay that way. Im mentally and physically not ready.

So i dont think AP would ever fall in love with me or the dream of meeting Vino G :'(

11th June

LAST EXAM! HOORAY! except that bad stomach tension, it went pretty well.

and i had to bring a book to the stage in the Cairo Opera. The procedure was me bringing a 2.5 kg heavy book to a random man and disappear. I wore an Aceh Sawerma Pants Traditional Clothes That Makes Me Looked More Shorter. 

I just realized i miss the adrenaline of performing on the stage :( and get applauded and the struggle to become as perfect as possible and THE AFTER PARTY! but hey! i so untalented i dont even belong to the audience. 

Then it hit me that i might miss Cairo (i know2 once again)

For just a few reasons like Bunga, Pinkan, Karina, Fully, Auli, Yudi, others that make me actually feel welcomed et al 

the et al was just some random typos lol 

And tomorrow is the 11th right?

Times so fast! Why do you have to hurry when i want it slower. Stupid time!

I wish i was Priscilla Ahn,

Arinda

Another random night

since no one read my blog, at least not those persons that i wish would care about my writings, i decided to tell something in this very boring night, where i should be.... yeah... learning... ah shit dont remind me of that ARGH!

Im in a stage of life that Freud might call the Genital Stage where my biggest pleasure should be gain by having heterosexual relationships...okay.... anyway, simple people just called that shit of psychodynamic approach as PUBERTY, so do I. 

So what happens in this stage: Conflicts. Yeah . Thats what most of the pubertans would like and love and seek and want and wish to experience. Dont tell me "we never like problems" you know that what makes your life life are problems that are actually eating your mental right?? RIGHT? 

Im just a 17 years old bitch who happens to be very bored and has nothing to do than talking about people, spreading gossips and watching porn (that last point was just a corny joke to enhance your mood). But i really do like to observe, yeah, somehow i care about my environment and thus, im kinda specialized in the subject of: how teenagers deal with life.

This is the result i had observe:

1. Teenagers LOVE to seek problems....

    What? Why? How come? Easy, just admit it to yourself. You could GOSH HAVE A NICE SIMPLE LIFE AND SAFELY GOING TO THIS BULLSHIT STAGE, but most of you (declude me, because im kinda passive toward the word: life) love to make everything so much complicated that its already is. You dont believe me? Of course not! Since when it is easy to admit that most of your problem is your own wish which will make your life plot seems so fake. You know it better than me teenage pals, you could have it so much simpler....

2. Teenagers LOVE to exaggerate problems.....

    HAH?? NO WAY! YES WAY JERKS. Thats what youre talented to do. Teenagers are like parasites. They exaggerate. If theres a problem (that they were wishing to have) they abruptly do it worst! By well, exaggerating. 

Example.... I have a friend who has a friend (im talking about my friend but i like to make it complicated [im still a teenager] so you wont know im talking about my friend), the friend told my friend a story, he absolutely told his friend very wise advices for his friend problems. Then my friend, he came to me all spoiled about his decisions consequences and will not hear that there are like zillions of people that have it worst than him, he wants to be the one whos suffering, he voluntarily create this fucking state of mind, HES EXAGGERATING! The point is, a teenager knows their friends is exaggerating, but they do not know: That they do it themselves. 

 .... okay2 im a teenager too, i admit, i do that stuff too....

3. Teenagers LOVE to show their problems

    Dont believe me? Check your twitter. 

4. Teenagers LOVE to fall in LOVE

    Tell me how many times did you say: I love you. How many nights did thought: He surely is the one. How many dirty thoughts you had about him??

5. Teenagers LOVE to fall out LOVE

    How many gallons of tears did you shed when you recognize he doesnt love you? Hmm, the real question is: how many lover did you have? how many of them did you actually love? how many of them did you lie to? How many of them lalalalala ask whatever you want, sky is your limit. But the point is: you LOVE to seek for other lovers, you actually adores you, worships you, feeds you,.... You fall in love to fall out of it, you fall out to just fall in love again.

6. Teenagers LOVE to think their current life is the ultimate life

     Meaning? Im not sure myself. Its just i know that teenagers love to think that their having the best years of their pathetic life, dont they? 

7. Teenagers LOVE to act mature

     OMG THIS IS SO TRUE! Like a friend of mine who got her first BF with 10, first a lil touch on her boobs with 11 and ultimate adult make out with 12. She thought, with 12 you should be very mature. I was 11 back then, and i was casted out for being very immature and childish. 

Well, this result might be bias and might contain personal interpretation therefore unreliable, but still you know that this point meets some people.

8. Teenagers LOVE to be unique

9. Teenagers LOVE to be einmalig

10. Teenagers LOVE to be special

6-8 is totally proven by Justin Bieber. Wait, how old is he? 7? Well hes not in puberty yet. Well then take Miley Cyrus as an example or the Jonas Siblings.

Actually this post is trash. I just wanted to share with you how much i need a guys attention! that i feel so unloved, unlovable, ignored, forgotten, lonely etc 

well yeah i still have a guy

but im still in puberty right? I can hallucinate problems, i have the right to claim whatever teenager right i might have. Because im 17.

Life is a long journey, puberty is just so short stop,

Arinda

Relaunch Nona Moochie!

Hai Manusia Manusia Penuh Dosa,

Sudah lama ya nona tidak mengpost untuk kalian katolog menyenangkan para lalaki gantang hangat dari oven bernama surga. Sudah lama sekali rasanya terakhir kali nona menulis keterangan detail tentang para dewa yunani di katalog Kolam Madu nona. Aduh waktu benar benar jahat. 

Ceritanya singkat para mucikers, tahun ini nona sangat sibuk membangun cabang permucian di kota Kairo ini. Disini untuk membangun rumah megah isinya lalaki gantang bener2 butuh ijin yang berlebihan, yang nona harus membuktikan kegantangan para pekerja nona lah, yang nona harus bayar harga diri nona kepada para menteri pajak dan bagunan, huh melelahkan. 

Tapi tentu semua tak sia-sia, bila hasilnya adalah semua gedung khusus lalaki timur tengah untuk target market para mucikers yang kesepian. Sayangnya untuk mencari pekerja timur tengah juga agak sulit ngurusinnya, seperti surat dokter kesehatan (full body) dan paling nga 500 jam di gym dengan diet super ketat. Jadi untuk memuaskan mucikers yang berselera timur tengah, nona dengan sangat menyesel memohon maaf akan ke telatan service sepesial ini.

Ah dan iya, udah ofisial bahwa emang nona sudah melepas masa lajangnya.... Aduh gimana jelasinnya yaaaa. NO! nona belum nikah lah jelas! belum waktunya. walau nona sudah separuh baya, nona masih punya little boys that i have to take care of hihi 

but theres that one guy. Ah dia bener-bener membuat hati nona melayang tinggi ke langit dan tidak seperti pekerja nona yang visual, dia selalu ada physical buat nona.. hmmmm

Oooops! kamu masuk masukin aja deh poto kamu sendiri! kan aku udah bilang ini post private nona, nga boleh ada poto pekerja. Hapus nga ya.... hapus ga ya..... nanti mister germs tau lagi! ah sudah lah resiko pekerjaan.

Itu pekerja none nomer ST/013/04, biasa kodenya harus kompleks agar tidah ketuker2, pekerja nona kan banyak. Yang ini ya.... hmm masih muda yang jelas dan masih agak kekanak-kanakan tapi dia cukup mahir dalam membahagiakan. Nona ambil dia langsung dari perkebunan anak gantang yang hidup sendiri dan kesepian alias panti asuhan. Nona asuh, jadilah lalaki pujaan hati kaum hawa ini. Ah kau lalaki, ah kau ingin ku duduk di sofa itu bersamamu hanya untuk menikmati napas wangimu dan gejolak dadamu yang naik turun ketika mengambil dan menghirup napas. 

Aduh kenapa malah memikirkan di ST/103/04??? Nona kan mau memberikan cerita bahwa nona sudah kembali lagi ke jalan penuh rintangan berdosa ini. 

Ayo para mucikers, mari memesan.....

Katalog selanjutnya adalah "Kolam Madu Bakat Muda" 

Untuk dirimu selalu, 

Nona Moocie xxoo

Another Thoughts

It wasnt a great day today nor was it worth mention. Only the desperate part of my exam when i actually tried to one way communicate with the mysterious examiner. Hmm i actually blamed him, i hope hes not upset.

Anyway, this is for most of my school mates their last exam (unfortunately not for me) and i kind of find myself in a sudden sad mood. 

Yes i do prefer to spend my time with people who actually loves me and do not ignore me etc, but all this treatment i had to face in the last months, i kinda get used to it. All im trying to say is, yes i will miss it. 

Once some random guy said to me that "eventhough you hate Egypt, you will miss it someday, you'll gonna find a reason to miss it," I answered him withouth hesitation, "maybe, but likely NO, i wont miss it, I'm happy to leave this place, why the hell should i miss this place?" He just look straight the road (he was driving me home obviously he was paid to do so) "you'll find a reason," 

I knew back then that he was right but i tried to deny all that fact because i just hate to see myself making the same mistake all over again. I hate to miss something i hate. A mistake i will never learn.

I'm a bad person. I do sins like constantly and I'm not planning to stop. I'm a bad person, i hurt most of the people i know and sometimes even those who never knew and will never know me. I'm a bad person. For hating something just because it seems so hateable. 

I'm a bad person who cling to the past, who cries for the past, regret the past and miss the past. Even if i meet another bad person who ruins my life, i always find a reason to miss them. To actually craved after them.

Sometimes i even miss strangers. 

Today, some of my friends remind me that this is the last time ill see them. Even i forget it myself (due to stress, lost sense of time and mostly unreasonable hunger). It surprised me that they remembered it. The thing is, they looked happy. I didnt expect them to look sad or pretend to be, at least i didnt expect them to be that 'hilarious'. And i find myself, overwhelm. With weird feelings i thought i wont feel but i knew that i will do. Those feelings are mix of, curiosity, pity, hunger and even sadness. Yes i felt sad. I know that i will miss them somehow. Ill find a reason to actually craved for them, to actually be the one who'll send them an email. Ill gonna find myself a reason to cry. And I'm gonna miss them, miss Egypt.

The guy was right. I hate goodbyes. Even to the most hateful person in this world, i find a way to be sad. I hate goodbyes. And i think even the most hateful person in this world, do not deserve farewells of any kind. 

The road back home was almost empty. It gave me time to watch the yellow hill scenario that blend together with the city, it gave me stolen time to think.

Maybe, i dont hate Egypt at all. Maybe, i just hate myself. For not being a better person, for not opening myself, for not take the chance of friendship and change, for being so stubborn, for stopping myself being happy, for missing all those opportunities that might change my whole life for better or worst and for not being myself all this time.

Yes, I am gonna say it out loud, yes I'm gonna miss Egypt. I'm gonna miss all those things i didn't do. All those 'no's i said and regret to say. I'm gonna miss Egypt and might cry for it. 

For im a bad person who loves to fall in love with something that cannot ever love me back. 

For im a bad person who appreciates memories too much.

For im a bad person who will love the invention of the time machine only to watch my past all over again. 

This is a confession that i dont hate you, not even a bit, hating you is just some lame excuse to escape the sad truth.

See you later Egypt, 

Arinda

Red (this post has nothing to do with period etc)

I got an issue with the color RED. Its not like i hate red, its more im kinda unlucky with red. I always wanted to have a red dress, shit yes i really do want one. Then i got one from my cousin and its lovely yes it is. Its something from a brand thats quite money-able but i wont say it because im not Dianarikasari or brandminded. Anyway, theres no problem with the dress-shirt, its just... very short to wear it without pants or legging (f@#k legging!), too tight to wear it with pants or legging (f@#k legging!), when i say too tight, i mean the kind of tightness that shape the whole damn fat in my body and force me to obviously stop breathing. Like a red second skin.

It makes me look like that bitch above. Only fattier. But the minidress she wears is kinda fine compare to the one i have. Its 15 cm shorter, tighter and reder. 

At the end i end up having no wearable red piece of cloth. So i kinda get more biased toward reds. Whatever i choose is red, for instance red nailpolish or tuna in red cans. 

One random day i remember that i had a red book, and its kind of sexy. Its my beloved Lord Of The Ring Trilogy in german, above 2000 pages that i never manage to finish. And another random book i pick because it has a nice book cover called: Whisper, (found out the book was about a skinny girl who wanted to wait for a special boy to pop up her cherry, a hypersex curvy mom, a guy that liked to sit in the roof to smoke and a ghost who was killed after having sex with the more handsome brother [the other one is retarded] )

And yes i was inspired to make something with book and red. I kind of thought about a book covert in red velvet but since we're in Egypt, im not really sure where i can get one. So i manage to beg my mom for a red leftover fabric. I made the book cover, kind of sexy yes except that i misinterpret the glue and it turned out to be quite messy and ugly. I thought, the fabric would fit if i make it all over again. WRONG. Because my mom took the leftover again to "patch something that happened to be just identical with the leftover she gave me" Leaving me struggling with no more red book.  

Shut the hell up and tell us what is it that you want to share with us:

Yapo, I just painted it all black and put some random symbol (its not 8, its the symbol eternity you morons), i did it totally the "Art Attack" way. 

Fyi, thats some random book i literally trashed out from one of my teacher's booksthatshouldgotoheavenbutipickeditup. I made a hole inside it (its very beyond messy and i hate to even look at it), and Tadaaaa a dramatic secret book was made by moi. And i did it completely manual with the help of any tutorial because i thought this idea is original (i know i know). Ill put my secret inside it just so stupid why i tell you that. 

So i can carry my illegal secret around with me and no one will ever know. I even can pass the airport dumb scanning with my sophisticated home made cocaine that blow me high in the sky i dont want to stop using it. Yes yes, im a drug addict and you dont know it, do you?

Nah, im just kidding.

Its just my 3 days uncharged Ipod.

If you happened to want to do this shit like me, you can click this >>>> CLICK <<<<< 

GOSH I WISH I KNEW THAT WEB EARLIER.

dont make the same mistake like moi, get some tutorial.

You can google anything nowadays,

Arinda